The Power of Love

I know it seems that I write in here every time I get upset about something. This is the case thus far, but this time is a little different. Christmas is almost here. New Years is right next to that. 2012 was extremely good to me. There were so many changed, all of them positive. I got a better job, lost weight, and answered many lingering questions within myself. I love growing older. I feel like I have more control of my destiny. I am more myself now than ever! One of the most beautiful things about life is the constant self discovery.

I will continue into 2013 with the same attitude of adventure, creativity, and thirst for knowledge. I pray that I will understand and accept what I cannot control. I want to blossom more into a warrior of self expression. I am hell bent on living more than ever before. I will continue on my road to a healthy body and spirit. I will conquer the urge to repress myself.

My biggest goals for 2013 mostly consist of ending the war inside my heart. I struggle everyday with the burdens of over-thought and fear. I want to conquer my fears. They hold me back from my dreams. I am blessed with encouragement all around me. I should open my ears and close my mouth more. I should be more accepting of help.

Now for the nerdy part. The war inside my heart is much like this classic battle with my favourite super hero:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8TWC2pNiuc

Queen Beryl is a representation of my fears, doubts, and what I think stands in my way. Too long I feel like "she" has bullied me and anchored my confidence into dark, deep, desolate, waters. I'd like to think the power of the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou (Silver Crystal) is my realization of what is actually important. It represents my desire to be myself and the love I should have for myself. I am "Serenity" illuminating all of my potential. 

I want to stand up to someone in my life. I want to be honest and have the relationship I've always wanted. If it doesn't happen that way, at least I will know. I can quit feeling like I'm living some double life. I just hope the power of love can destroy assumptions and narrow mindedness. 

You know it feel so good when you find a song that fits with your situation perfectly. I know it's a little cheesy. It's a song from my childhood. I love it. I always choose a theme song for the new year and this is the one for 2013.  Follow the lyrics if you listen to the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzNLZ37ZTZs

I think it's interesting that the older I get, the more I relate with Sailor Moon. She is someone who is constantly underestimated and has to prove herself. She has no fear in being herself and living live to it's fullest. Even though she has fears she fights for hope and goodness. She loves with her whole heart. I'd like to think that's the way I am too.

When I hear people talking about how annoyed they are with tiny things, my initial reaction is fury. I used to be like that. Every little thing that went wrong used to make me feel like I had a bad life. I want everyone to shut the hell up and put things into prospective like I did. I'm not saying it's wrong to be annoyed when things go wrong. You have the full right to own your feelings. Take a moment to think about the following when little things pile up:

#1. Is it life threatening?
#2. Is it the end of the world?
#3. Tell it to the kids in the hospital dying of cancer.

Now was that so hard? If you take most of your problems and compare it to something that's a real big problem, it makes you want to go out and help with something that matters. Don't dwell on how stupid something small will turn out. Take that energy you were going to use to bitch about small things and turn it into something positive like helping out a child who has cancer. Doing things like that helps keep my feet on the ground. It helps with all of the goals I have for 2013. I feel like everyone should try it.